Retirement Planning

Another year goes by, bringing another precious gift- our 3rd baby boy. On the occasion of our 6th wedding anniversary, 3 months into life with 3 children, I v had this burning desire to put out this revolutionary idea- that the fundamental retirement plan we need are , Children!

July 9, 2024- At Thomas' baptism and Paul's 2nd Birthday 

Commodification of Life: Progress or Regress?

Sad that to want and have children is a revolutionary thing today. Its a great tragedy that the cost of human progress has been this gross shift in mentality viewing children as strategic assets rather than as absolute treasures. In times past , couples knew that children are a natural and most special fruit of marriage. Thanks to the sexual revolution and contraceptive mentality of the last 60 years, children are now viewed as a commodity. Its acceptable in today's world to say that children are to be limited and planned on carefully to suit one's life goals. Alas, what a cheap and evil mentality that thinks a persons' (one's own unborn /unconcieved children no less) right to exist  should be based on parents 'life goals'! Well the ultimate goal for parents is union with God. Forcefully and artificially limiting one's own family size is definitely not the mentality of a person who seeks union with God because God is the author of life. 

Basically, society at large is supportive of couples choosing to not have children so that they can save for a home , car, vacations, you name it, meaning that children , at least beyond 2, are actually less precious than those material things. On the other hand society actually promotes ideas like having more children is irresponsible, dangerous for planet etc! The Catholic Church challenges us and affirms that the very purpose of marriage is Children hence would be wrong to contracept them out of existence.

"Marriage is not, then, the effect of chance or the product of evolution of unconscious natural forces; it is the wise institution of the Creator to realize in mankind His design of love. By means of the reciprocal personal gift of self, proper and exclusive to them, husband and wife tend towards the communion of their beings in view of mutual personal perfection, to collaborate with God in the generation and education of new lives."

- St Pope Paul VI, Humane Vitae

Children- the best sort people you will have in your life

No one else on earth will want to love and relate with you the way your own child does. A baby is born dependant on its parents love and attention for its survival. A baby's /young child's whole universe is their mother and Father. Why won't one want to be someone's universe?! Here world renowned clinical psychologist Dr Jordan Peterson explains it so well. No matter what you think of the man, am sure you can agree with what he is saying. Have kids, lots of them, you will feel loved, admired, idolized like neve before and thats something all of us enjoy.

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/VYzTCSY6wgnfpzBo/?mibextid=D5vuiz

Impact of less procreation

So, in chasing happiness at the cost of children, what has society gained? Families are , more than ever, being torn apart. Second, increasing number of young people don't want to have children resulting in economic decline, shrinking pension funds and an elderly population thats being neglected and even euthanized to death. Third, parents themselves are being shattered with neglect in old age . Fourth, rise of narcissistic personality disorder among the populace resulting in toxic relationships. Finally, The world also grapples with a fertility crisis! Even in India the government is trying to provide free access to IVF. IVF is another evil that actually kills more babies than abortion! More on that in another post.

It is thus obvious that this mentality of viewing children as a burden, in any sense, needs to go. As St Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said, "How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers." 

Save- but not on children! Invest- especially on children!

I m not saying don't do financial Planning. Nay , one must. One can sacrifice on all luxury like extravagant clothing, wastful spending, eating out, expensive vacations etc and save up for contegencies. One must also practice gratitude for one's wealth by tithing and one must learn to be detached from wealth through charity. Limiting one's openess to life in one's marital life should not be a strategy for financial security. Most times, even if or maybe especially if, a couple has only 1 or 2 children , they are still falling short financially, emotionally and spiritually because they simply are not willing to curb their unruly passions, to look into themselves and strive to practice virtue. Virtuous people are better for society and ultimately, the economy. Just think of the kind of person you would want to hire for work- hardworking, honest, enterprising, just, team player etc These are virtues and virtues take repeated sacrifice to inculcate. Its like building muscle through excercise. After birthing 3 children of my own, i assure you that never more have I been challenged to be better in every aspect of my behaviour than now. Parenting is often called the highest calling for a reason. 

Purpose of life- Avoidance of suffering?

A priest I highly respect and follow, Fr  Ripperger said that at the root of every sin is an unwillingness to suffer. At some level Parents are afraid to suffer at the hands of children hence instead of having children, prioritise the making and saving of money.  If heaven were our true treasure, we would choose so vastly different. My maternal granparents had 9 children, 20+ grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren (so far) .

April 22, 2019- My Maternal Grandma, Ammini Abraham Kallivayalil, Celebrating her 87th and final birthday with some of her children and grandchildren 

 Every death anniversary of theirs, there are some 100 plus people praying for their soul! Imagine that, in the fires of purgatory, the only thing that can console us is the prayers of our loved ones. Hence the smartest investment you can make now for the future is to beget a large loving faith filled family. Nothing else will serve you as much in life and nothing else can serve you after death. 

April 24, 2011- My Maternal Grandparents clicked celebrating Easter Sunday with some of us, their offsprings.

 

 In any case, even if after all the sacrifice you'v made to be faithful to God, open to life and sacrificing as a parent, it may well be that your children do discard you. Maybe God will allow you to be tested like Job. Truth is, we should be courageous enough to even face that consequence. If we really believed in reality of  heaven and hell, and that the purpose of our life is to know, love and serve God, we would think, "what an opportunity to be a saint!". Let us not be afraid even of poverty and neglect here on earth because life on earth is but a blip when you think of eternity. Work for your eternal life- marry , and have many kids (unless you feel called to be a religious or a consecrated single). 

My maternal granparents clicked with most of their children and grandchildren on the occasion of the baptism of their first great grandchild

Never say no to being open to life in the marital embrace unless there is grave reason like imminent death or inability to meet day to day living expenses or any such 'just cause'. And then, I believe, one will have everything one needs to be with God and our hearts are restless until we rest in God.