Here is an excerpt from my journal dated 7 August 15:
"Today i cried when someone was sick. My beloved pet dog, Socks, is suddenly sick and its just too much for my heart and mind. I had to sob. Now m trying to figure out why am sobbing so much. What is it about her that makes me feel i just can't live without her. Like she is irreplaceable. Like she is the one who taught me many important lessons. Like i v not yet matched her when it comes to giving love. Like i don't care what this ache sounds like."
And i lost her in this life on 8 August 2015. I finally now understand what countless people feel everyday after the death of close family. Its the first experience for me and it prepares me. I can now really relate to the pain of others who suffer a similar loss.
But i m peaceful because i know i ll see her in heaven.* That thought is so assuring. To know we are created for eternity. To know someone familiar in this life will also be there in the next eternal life. And i also realised its so important to enjoy people and pets while they are with us.
Not because of me but inspite of me, by her nature, Socks could make a beautiful time out of the days and years she was with my family. Thats the power of genuine good nature. No matter how bitter and mean anyone of us in the family got noone could persist in that fallen state in the face of her radiant presence. She taught me that the harsh experiences in life come to make us better and not bitter. And her life was marked by discipline. Everything in her life had a proper time. She could also sense emotions both where words were and, were not expressed. Countless times i d flop on my bed dejected, and she d come gently sniffing. Watching me intently as i cry and silently consoling me. Who does that?! No human surely.
Even now, thats the single biggest thing i miss. More than the wild happy welcomes each time i come back home even if they were several times in a single day. More than that random friendly lick of my toe every once in a while as if to say i love you. That consoling stare when m down and out, that was plain supernatural, those were the eyes of my creator peering at me through one of his most marvelous creations.
The socks sized hole in my life will remain till the end of this earthly life but i know i ll see her in the eternal one. I miss you and love you dearly dearly Socks. Watch over me till then my friend.